My Own Brand of Fashion Advice

I am by no means a fashionista or the fashion police, but I do have a good eye for fashion and I have spent my fair share of years of working in clothing stores. And I spent a great deal of time dressing people for their body type.

Here are a few things to remember in my humble opinion.

Just because they make it in your size doesn’t mean you should buy it

  • If you’re a size 20, you should not be wearing leggings or jeggings,
  • If you’re a size 2, you should not be wearing leggings or jeggings.
    • Actually, let’s face it leggings and jeggings can be a FAIL for any size
  • If you’re a busty woman bypass the shrug/bolero jacket
  • If you tatas are practically non-existent you, too, should avoid the shrug/bolero

bolero

A note on heels

  • If you’re not use to wearing heels, start off with kitten heels
  • If you walk like you’re stepping over cow chips, don’t wear anything higher than a kitten heel
  • If you look like you’re about to take a face plant on the sidewalk in anything higher than a kitten heel, don’t wear anything higher than a kitten heel (and if I see you face plant, I will laugh. Please accept my apologies now)

Sadly muffin tops are never ever attractive

  • Spanks may be expensive, but invest in some. If you can’t afford them, please feel free to go with the good ole fashion girdle
  • Don’t like girdles, then buy pants/skirts that sit at your natural waist.
    • And by the way your natural waist does not start at your hips. Use your belly button as a guide.

It’s starting to warm up and pretty soon ladies, we will be strutting our cute, sexy and sassy sandles, but before you do. . .

  • Make sure your dogs are in good order. There’s nothing worse than see some cute funky sandle and it looks like your feet are trying to chew the straps.
  • If you haven’t had a pedicure all winter, now is a good time start

I’m a fan of not showing a panty line, but what I am not a fan of is . . .

  • seeing your thong
    • If I can see it when you sit or bend over your pants or skirt are riding to low on your hips

If you can clearly see 21 in your rearview mirrow or you can’t remember 21 than you should not be shopping at Forever 21 or even H&M or any other teeny bopper store, unless you are there to buy something for a teeny bopper.

2 thoughts on “My Own Brand of Fashion Advice

  1. Thanks Sonya for stopping by! 🙂 Haha! I never thought about my legs being in a sausage tube before. I don’t disagree with the skinny jean, but you definitely can’t be pear shaped or have an apple bottom and wear them without covering up, and I have seen that fashion FAIL more times than I can count. I’m 5’8 with a short torso and legs for days and I know my leggings and skinny jeans limit. If I wear those all you’ll see are legs and head. I don’t necessarily agree with the boot cut or the flare (back in the day we called them bell bottoms) or palazzo pant. If you’re short and stout they make you look shorter and wider and for those folks a good trouser pant is the best.

    I personally dread the summer time as that’s when it seems like everyone is wearing inappropriate clothing. When I saw that picture of the toe nails, I had a visceral reaction and knew that had to be the one.

    I just hope I helped someone caught in a fashion conundrum.

    P.S. I haven’t forgotten about the nomination. I hope to have it done this weekend. Thanks again for the nod.

    Like

  2. I use to wear Levi Straight leg jeans until I watched Oprah one day that they were talking about things not to do. They said straight leg jeans or pants on anyone no matter the size of the person is like a sausage in a tube. I was like Oh Eh Geeze in the garbage all my jeans went. They said always wear a boot cut or a flare let pant or jean. I see people all the time in clothes they should not have on. Including some that are in their 30s still dressing like their teens. Ok those toe nails are nasty looking LOL. Great blog post.

    Like

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