Day 2: Breaking Taboo — Bullying

Many of you may think that bullying isn’t a taboo topic anymore based on anti-bullying legislation and parents, teachers, and school administrators are supposedly more involved than ever in prevention. But it is still a taboo topic — to those that are being bullied.

I almost didn’t post this because I felt it was to statistics heavy.

Before I go any further take a moment and think back. Were you ever bullied as a child? How did it make you feel? Did you feel that the adults around didn’t understand? Did you talk to them about being bullied? Odds are if you were one of thousands being bullied you didn’t and it hurt.

Being bullied took a bite out of you self-confidence, your self-worth. You may have even thought about harming yourself. And I’m sure you felt your parents or grown ups period didn’t understand what you were feeling and/or going through and I betcha 10 to 1 you didn’t talk to anybody about it either.

Now think about you today. How has being bullied helped or hindered you in life? Do you tend to overcompensate? Stay in the background? Try to make yourself invisible?

Being bullied has lasting effects on its victims. Many victims of bullying have reported regular stress, depression, low self esteem, feelings of inadequacy among other things.

There are four types of bullying:

  1. Physical — includes hitting, kicking, pinching, tripping and pushing
  2. Verbal — includes name calling, insults, teasing, intimidation, homophobic or racist remarks, or verbal abuse
  3. Social & Emotional — also called “relational bullying, includes behavioral actions designed to harm a child’s reputation or cause humiliation
  4. Cyber — the newest of the of the types. It includes taunting or humiliation through social media sites (i.e. Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, etc.)

Some facts and stats

bullying stats

How can you tell if your child or someone you know is being bullied?

Look for sudden changes in your child’s personality (i.e. depression, declining grades, sleeplessness, feeling sick or faking illness, avoidance of social settings, self-destructive behaviors). This is not an exhaustive list and keep in mind that there are some children that don’t exhibit signs.

How can you help your child become more resilient to bullying?

No parent wants to see their child hurting. There are things that you can do to help your child deal more positively with bullying.

  • Help your child find something he/she is good at. This will help take away some feelings of inadquacies.
  • Help your child meet new positive people outside of the school enivronment. This can help them see that there are people out there that are not out to hurt them.
  • Assure your child that if they report bullying they are not being a tattle tale.
  • Maintain open lines of communication and don’t deminish their feelings.
  • Don’t tell your child to ignore it. Words hurt.

15 thoughts on “Day 2: Breaking Taboo — Bullying

  1. I think it’s important to help the bullied deal with it, but even more we need a culture of positive community where people take pleasure in doing what they were probably excellent at as toddlers — compassion, empathy, sympathy. We need to focus, in other words, on helping the bullies be more complete persons.

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  2. 90% of kids get bullied. Wow. I wonder if it’s done by the 10%. I bet it’s a domino effect for many. They get mistreated and they pass the negative behaviour onto the next child. Sometimes I feel like mistreating each other for that “power trip” is an impulse left over from some animal instincts. I have not researched this, but I did read in the news that all the anti-bullying awareness programs have not made a significant impact.

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    • Thanks for visiting. I don’t believe the anti-bullying legislation os working at all. For some bullies it’s a learned behavior and for others I think it’s their way of going from a position of powerlessness to a position of power.

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  3. Great post.

    I was bullied throughout school, and teachers did nothing to help. In fact, the bullies were treated better than I was. Thankfully I never took my own life, but I would have done if I’d been braver. The fact that so many young people kill themselves or self-harm because of bullies shows that it is still a problem. And I have no idea why schools and parents allow bullies to prevail. They should be severely punished for making people’s lives a living hell.

    I still carry the scars of bullying, and I find it so difficult to trust anyone, mainly because my school “friends” were my bullies. I have tried to fight through it, but their words and behaviour will always be a part of my life.

    Rebeccah Writes – A-Z 2014

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    • Thanks Rebeccah for stopping by and for sharing. Bullying is such an epidemic and we are trying to do something about it. Several U.S. states have anti-bullying legislation, but that hinges on it being reported. And you’re right teachers and administrators don’t really do anything about it. Sometimes, I think they’re just as afraid of getting involved as the kids that are being bullied are afraid to tell and parents just really don’t know what to do.

      My personal opinion is that anyone who endures bullying is much braver than people give them credit for. Those that take their lives due to it have reached such a low point that they believe it’s the only way out. I don’t know if that’s due to a lack of support system. It’s hard to say. A lot of parents don’t know their child is being bullied and they don’t know what to look for. It’s so important that adults give them a safe place to come to when it happens and help them take action.

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    • Thanks Ally, I’m glad you thought it was a good post. I did a lot of wrestling with it. I was shocked at some of the stats. Sometimes it’s hard to believe bullying is an epidemic.

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